Leave Me Alone, I Hate You

Because any case of VD requires follow up care:

I realized that in my haste to let you know how I felt about Valentine’s Day (see VD-Day post from February 14), I neglected to let you know what actually happened with my crush on Chris. In fact, it never even occurred to me to bother. This was 9^th grade, this crap doesn’t have a happy ending.

Or any ending, really.

Chris continued to be the primary focus of my freshman year (sorry academics). And like so many ill-conceived crushes that would follow, imagining that something might eventually happen made my normally mundane existence almost endurable.

2-15-86 continued…

…at the dance I asked Chris to dance once and he asked me to dance once (last dance – it was a fast one though). I was getting so pissed at Jenny. She kept asking him to dance and hanging around him at the game. She always does that!

Damn you, Jenny. May you never dance again!

But if I may offer my own homage to the great wisdom of Coolio: ain’t no party like an unrequited party cuz an unrequited party don’t stop:

2-27-86

…Chris was hanging around today. He talked to me a lot. We got in a fight! He apologized and gave me his locker combo (271 = 34-6-44) so I was excited! He’s so cute! I just am so tired of waiting around. I think maybe he likes me, but, as Whitney Houston says, “How will I know?” If something doesn’t happen real soon, I’ll have to give up and face reality.

By the way, I’m on another one of my famous diets. Spring break is coming up…I can’t wear a bathing suit in my shape!

More later…

Familiar, isn’t it? Ok, eventually locker combos become keys to our respective apartments, but isn’t this essentially still what we do to each other every day? All this veiled communication…

I could’ve just said, “Look Chris, I like you. How do you feel about me?” Instead, I turned up the Whitney Houston and went on another diet.

Alternatively, he could’ve said, “Look, I like you, but mainly only because you like me, and that’s good for my ego.” Instead I get the locker combo. (which by the way, why would you do that?! You’re just asking to get robbed or locker-bombed)

All the wondering. Waiting. Mixed signals. No signals. That’s the real dance, people.

And it’s not a slow one.

All I can say is, more later…