Friday, March 12, 2010
Freaky Fridays: 4
Creepy pre-teen Michael Jackson diary of the week:
1-26-84
Michael Jackson is really emotional. I read that he thinks of himself as a sort of Peter Pan. And he is. He will go tell a record company exactly what he wants, and then play a game of hearts with a friend who is 8 years old! One time Jane Fonda and him were riding around together and she turned to him and said, “I realize you’re Peter Pan.” He got tears in his eyes and said, “I totally identify with Peter Pan, the lost boy of Never-Never Land.” He said that he had pictures of Peter Pan all over his room and that he read everything that the author had written. What a nice guy!
Oh to be in the backseat of that car, riding around with Jane and MJ. But seriously, who among us hasn’t had just this very same conversation with a friend?
I bet it’s way easier to win at cards if you’re playing against an 8-year-old. And less "emotional."
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
A Simple (Awesome) Plan
Ok, so I feel that I should fess up.
For those of you who bother to read this blog regularly (I love you the most, by the way, you’re all I’ve got. No, seriously…) -- you may remember that I recently posted an entry where I celebrated my hard earned “freedom” from my 9th grade crush on a sophomore named Chris. (see entry aptly titled “Freedom”) All true, of course.
I am woman/teenage girl, hear me roar!
For a second anyway.
Just a few pages later, I stumbled on to this:
Sunday, May 11, 1986
For the first time in a looonngg…time I had a real blast. Today (about 7:30) Karen called me to play football with her, Brian, Monica, Mark, Chris, Tim, Javier,Sarah,and Erik. It was sooooooo much fun! I suck at football, but we had fun. It was cool. Monica is so nice!! Chris looked cute! Oh shit – I can’t handle it!! I might as well admit it…I’m in lust over him!! Why the hell can’t I forget about him?!? What am I going to do? I have an awesome plan. I’ll be really super nice to him no matter what!! Then see what happens! (insert scribbled hearts here) Tyra and I are going out prom nite and partying majorly since we aren’t going to the prom!!
More later!!
And so, there I am. Alone again. With Tyra.
There’s a lot going on here:
Blast.
Fun.
Suck.
Fun (again).
Cool.
Nice.
Cute.
Shit.
And Lust?!
I was 14. What did I know of lust?! Maybe it was all that football…
Let’s focus. So, this guy Chris does NOT like me. He has shown no tangible signs of genuine affection even by a high school standard. And yet my “awesome plan” is to be “super nice” to him?!
“No matter what,” no less?!
Bad plan. Flawed to the extreme. Not even the slightest bit awesome. But worse? It became not just a “plan” but a pattern.
I’ve always held to the misguided belief that you should greet people’s indifference, rudeness and general cruelty with private indignation mixed with public displays of nothing but smiles.
I’m not some kindly saint. Or even kind of kindly. But I can fake it. And I often do. Because I figure that eventually, if you’re nice enough – albeit in a pointed yet subtly disappointed fashion -- you won’t have to tell them they’ve been a rotten jerk at all. Why, they’ll just learn their lesson(s) and come to their sense(s) all on their own(s)! Then we can all share a milk shake and say bygones. Just like in the movies!
To paraphrase Hemingway, Shakespeare, Judy Blume and the like: “yeah, right.”
The other day my sister pointed out this foolish pattern to me with a simple question. She was outraged by the overly polite response I made to someone’s overtly rude comment on my Facebook page, and she asked me: “When exactly can we stop trying to kill people with kindness and just kill them?!”
She didn’t mean literally or "majorly" of course.
At least, I don’t think she did.
Either way, she has a point. It doesn’t work, this awesome plan. Kindness is too often wasted on the wrong people. And politeness?! Politeness is for the birds. And birds are creepy, and they shit on you.
In closing, I’d like to take diary entry attendance one last time: Karen, Brian, Monica, Mark, Chris, Tim, Javier, Sarah and Erik.
Hold the phone...Javier?
Oh Javier. How did I let you slip away?
More later.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Freaky Fridays: 3
It’s Freaky Friday time. You know what to do.
Freak OUT.
Here is the creepy pre-teen Michael Jackson diary of the week:
1-24-84
Michael Jackson seems like a really deep guy. He says things that kind of make you wonder for a while. Like, he once asked his sister if she would rather be a rich queen with no friends and very unhappy, or extremely poor and have lots of friends and be happy. He always tells her that money can’t bring happiness. And, you know, he’s absolutely right!
This is not only deep, it's a tough one. I need more information. Why does the rich queen have no friends? And does she have cable and internet access in her friendless kingdom?
It does kind of make me wonder (for a while).
So, speak up now my Janets, what’ll it be? Rich queen? Or popular pauper?
You know my answer...forget the cash, love will never do without YOU.
Freedom!
You know that feeling when you finally realize that the person you like is never going to like you back?
The what-if-something-actually-worked-out-for-once party is over, and you’re the last guest to leave. Plus you spilled on the carpet, puked in your own hair, and your ride left hours ago.
This was the first of many of these sort of realizations for me:
Sunday, May 4, 1986
Well, I guess there comes a time in each stage of your life when you realize it’s time to move on. It’s a natural progression. It has to happen. Holding on to past dreams only hurts. You have to set new goals and ambitions. What I am really trying to say is that my obsession with Chris was/is ridiculous to continue. To sacrifice so much of my life/thoughts with nothing to show for it is just plain senseless. It’s time to move on. It’s not healthy to keep this up soo…It’ll be tough, but I’ll cry my tears, and everything will return to normal if not better!!
More later…
"Normal if not better" seems a little sad/pathetic, right? Or maybe not…
(Later on Sunday, May 14)
I am so happy. It suddenly hit me…I’m FREE. Free not to hurry to class so I can walk next to him… FREE not to give a shit what I look like when I go to school in the morning… FREE to not go to the damn library… FREE not to get depressed when he doesn’t talk to me… FREE not to hurry back to school at lunch time… FREE to live for myself for once! I went straight from liking Bobb to Chris and never gave myself the chance to be free. It’s almost summer!! I’ll give it a rest for a while. Maybe I’ll try again next year, maybe not. Either way: I feel WONDERFUL! My GOD – I am only 14 (going on 15) years old!! I don’t need this aggravation!! I am going on a major health kick and by graduation I’m going to be awesome and this summer I am going to party massively! I worry way too much. Enough of that!! Yess!!
MORE LATER!
I’m not sure why I was suddenly going to stop going to the "damn library"…but hey, I’m FREE. (and my “more later” just got a "damn" sight more enthusiastic!)
I may have been 14 (going on 15), but I think I was on to something here. Sure this head-over-heels stuff can be a real rush, but who likes to rush? (or bother to shower before school, for that matter...)
The end of any relationship (or non-relationship that you thought might actually become a relationship given the right outfit and circumstances) seems sad. But what if all that “when one door closes another opens” crap is actually true after all? Better yet, what if behind door number two is one big “massive” party? You won't know until you go through it. Or bust it down, whatever.
Here’s to freedom, kids. Remember, no matter how bleak things may seem, it’s almost summer somewhere. "Yess!"